September is Suicide Prevention Month, and Betsy Stephenson, an Alexandria, Virginia, resident and a mother who lost her son to suicide, wants people to talk about it.
“By not talking about suicide, we are not going to make it go away. In fact, I think that we could inadvertently give it a little more power than it deserves,” she told WTOP.
One of the things that Stephenson wants families to know is that people who are struggling can appear to be doing well.
“You can be very high-functioning as a depressed person or an anxious person,” she said. “You can be connected socially. You can be doing well at school or work. You can be making plans, smiling, laughing, engaged, but still be struggling deeply, you know, cosmically, inside.”
That was the case with her 21-year-old son, Charlie, who died by suicide in 2022. Just hours before Charlie took his own life, he had texted his mother, “I’m doing awesome. Love you good night.”
Editor’s note: This story includes discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline in the U.S. is available by calling or texting 988.
Stephenson wrote about her experience and frequently talks to groups and organizations about suicide and its impact.
She said when a friend or loved one is struggling, people often say that all they have to do is ask for help.
But for those experiencing depression or suicidal thoughts, reaching out can feel impossible.
“If you are deeply depressed, if you are heavily anxious, sometimes you can freeze. Decision-making is hard, motivation is hard, follow-through is hard,” Stephenson said.
Stephenson instead suggests being proactive and taking concrete action, such as helping the loved one contact a doctor or counselor. She said offering to drive them to appointments can also make a huge difference.
“It’s also a way to show solidarity with the person, but it helps make sure that they follow through, because when you are turned so inward that you can’t think straight, it feels easier to give up. And so sometimes we just need a helping hand,” she said.
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